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After what?� Over a year?

Itapos;s a very nice rejection with the door left open for other submissions so not a total loss.

Thanks so much for the look at Walking After Midnight and sorry to say no, because I liked the mix of FBI guy pluse New Orleans cop versus a vampire, and you write well. So how come... The story was a little overwrought to start (par for the genre) and then it went flat, I thought. It had to be difficult to meld nuts-and-bolts investigating with the mystical real of vampires and it just didnapos;t click for me. HOwever, please feel free to submit other work. Iapos;d be interested to see what youapos;re up to.

So, back to the hunt.� Ah well, I can always use a hobby.� ;)

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Grad Day today
As usual, the girls camwhore and the guys think of the buffet
Loke is leaving this year, his wife is really really really sick and needs him by her side
It didnt turn out to be what Iapos;ve expected it to be but I know they did what they could do.
Well, thats to tell you not to expect so much from a school like that
There werent any tears which was quite disappointing.
It was kind of a waste of time BUT�I got signatures and well wishes from teachers and classmates like every others do. Its going to mean soo much to me when I�start to reminise.
Thereapos;s going to be soo much memory to carry with me.
And as time goes by, these memories will fade but I�know those who truly cared will forever remain in my mind.
I may not be the smartest, prettiest nor tallest .... But I will clinge on to�the thoughts�that I actually mean a thing.�
It feels really good to graduate and leave the forsaken place which provided soo much for me.
How time has passed.

Last night, I had a sleepless night =(
It felt sooo bad I swear.
If you know me well enough, sleepingapos;s like on top of apos;my listapos;.
I just couldnt fall asleep, not even a wink
After tossing and turning for 2hours, I went to the empty bed next to mine to try sleeping in.
After an hour or tossing and turning on the apos;empty bedapos; I went back to my own bed.
After 30mins, I got up and switched my reallyreally thick super warm blanket to a much thinner one to sleep in.
By then its already 4am
I was in a trance after that
LOL
So much for a night.

Irene, PM me

Btw, an ant bite me a few minutes ago and it hurts =(
I hate ants

The�photos we never took.

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Apple pies round 2 I once again tried making apple pies, taking what I liked about the first ones (just about everything) and adding a few things. This time they look significantly better Hopefully when we cut it later it will stand up to the first ones in terms of taste and consistency. I also managed to keep down the mess, now knowing when/where/what would be coming. All around a great success I wish I had pictures.

My first cheesecake didnapos;t turn out quite as well - it does taste good, but itapos;s neither as smooth a consistency or as pretty a presentation (it cracked up a bit) as I had wanted.

Work canapos;t end soon enough today. The trek to CT for Furfright starts as soon as I get home
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I fell asleep THREE TIMES watching the debate. Luckily, i have it on tivo. I am powering through it right now. I canapos;t decide if i was really tired or if i am just BORED of watching two grown men bicker and backbite. Scalpel, hatchet ... I donapos;t want your metaphors i want your thoughtful, reasoned answers about WHAT PROGRAMS YOUapos;RE GOING TO CUT. Thatapos;s more important than your nuanced grasp of the english language, imho.and itapos;s definately more important than whether youapos;re going to balance the budget ... Of course youapos;re not going to fucking balance the budget, and IT DOESNapos;T REALLY MATTER. What matters is what youapos;re going to cut. And neither answered that question adequately.

i did manage to get through project runway, though. I was secretly hoping that kenley would win. I could see myself wearing at least three of her dresses as they are, but i could only see myself in one of leanneapos;s. Theyapos;re beautiful but not really practical for the average woman.

back into the breach, i guess.

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To do anything but sit here. Studying isnapos;t "fun" for anyone, but I should be able to take a stab at it.
I found his journal and had the rare privilege to read the most hateful, obsessive, scary things written about myself. I had to stop reading half way through it. Itapos;s not normal. Heapos;s messed up.

I wish Marsha knew how itapos;s going to be in a couple of years when she figures out that study abroad takes a lot of MONEY, not just the idea and(I will give her credit where credit is due)extreme motivation. Maybe Iapos;m just bitter and sheapos;ll really learn Chinese and go to China and become an ambassador or what ever the hell it is she wants to do. No, Iapos;m definitely bitter.

I still have this need for everyone to read my thoughts. I want to broadcast them to someone. All I can do is sit here and look at Rachel Bilsonapos;s latest outfit or read about the breakup of Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner. Other people whose lives are broadcasted. I donapos;t want to look at myself right now because Iapos;m too... Nothing. I donapos;t know what to do with myself.

I cut back my activities because I was too overwhelmed. Now Iapos;m bored. If Iapos;m not dealing with some crisis my life is nothing, no where, motionless.
I want someone to wake me up. What am I doing? Where did I go? Without problems I am no one. I want to be someone without the problems.

I think Ms. K is right, I think we all have unlimited potential. But what if you donapos;t have a clue as to what yo should do with that potential? I donapos;t know where to concentrate my energy, what to do with myself.

I should be smarter than this. I feel like stress has zapped me.

I want my new project to be me.

ME.

Focus: Jennica

Thesis/Objective: To discover new ways to have fun, make projects to look forward to and find outlets for my energy/anger/frustration.

Right now... How do I feel.

-I feel like my feelings are constantly changing.
-I feel like I want to read more.
-I feel like I want to spend less time on this computer.
-I want to have more fun with my friends.
-I want to find cool things to do in Tampa.
-Realize life is more simple than I think it is.
-Just be.

Maybe I need all this crap because I have no thoughts in my head.

I need some damn confidence. I need something inside me to pick me up when I start blushing and stammering. I need something in me to hold me together.

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What do you make of it, when the strongest person you know, the person who is most confident about who they are, and their place in the world, suddenly is not?� I understand having doubts about the future, and more than anything, I�understand financial worries.� But he is so stressed out about this...� He had a mental breakdown last night, and the only thing I�could do was support him and at the same time let him know that it was OK�not to be sure about the future.

I�just...I�feel bad.� Iapos;ve only seen him cry twice, and the first time was due to external forces.

[gahs]

It shouldnapos;t take such a reminder as this to remember how close he is to his feelings, even if sometimes I�feel like he doesnapos;t acknowledge them as something with value.� [hugs him]� I�will try harder.� I�shouldnapos;tapos;ve stopped trying.� After all, he may be my partner/lover/boyfriend/romantic interest/whatever you want to call it, but beneath all that, he is simply my friend.
�

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As most of you know I recently had a very sick baby - Norrington. He had an ear infection which turned abscess etc etc etc. Poor little chap. One of the most heart breaking things to have to do apos;forapos;/apos;toapos; him was give him his medicine. Near the end I�apos;inventedapos; something that worked rather well. Now, administering antibiotics to my new patient (heapos;s got nothing major wrong)�Steve McQueen, Iapos;ve found this to seriously take the apos;fightapos; out of the ordeal

Ingredients:
�

• One piece of regular bread - 1" squared /�2.5cm squared.
• 1/2 tsp Honey
• warm water

Load up your little needleless siringe with the dose. Squirt it slowly onto to bread so it forms a thin layer over the top. Mix the honey and water, using the same siringe without washing (this makes sure that all the med gets where itapos;s meant to be) apply the honey mixture until the bread is half-saturated. You may have some left over.

Offer to rat. Theyapos;re usually quite happy to munch it right down first thing in the morning and in the evening.

Your rat may be pickier than Steve, but if youapos;ve ever administered meds to a ratty, you know what help tricks are

Honey was also recommended to my by my vet as a good little treat because they loose their weight so fast when theyapos;re sick, itapos;s good high-energy. Not only that�It has great medicinal purposes as well�Besides, itapos;s the best thing to cover up an acrid taste�

Best of luck

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